We've seen a huge rise in public awareness of bullying, and many organizations have launched in reaction to his death.
I thought I would share a little about where I came from.
I lived 95% of my life in a small town called Powell River, on the Sunshine Coast. A coastal town surrounded by mountains, lakes and ocean. The only way you could leave, was by plane, or by boat, (as we all know as BC Ferries). If your dad didn't work in the mill, he was a logger, a fisherman, owned his own business, or worked out of town. I had many significant childhood moments there; late night sneak-aways, beach trails at night, 4x4ing up logging roads, teenaged kisses, cliff diving and hiking. I had my first experiences with parties, drinking, and was soon on the path to finding out who was good to hang out with, and who wasn't. I got my first tattoo at age 15. I had days when I was on the top of the world, and days when I wished the world would swallow me up-- the way one can only wish when they are trying to find their identity throughout adolescence. My life was extremely ordinary in that regard. There have been and will be so many teens who experience these things in my hometown, and everywhere else.
The one big thing I can remember being made fun of about, was honestly, my lips. At present day, I can't imagine how and why that would be so "interesting" and provoking for kids to make fun of me for. I was called "fish lips", and people would pull their lips apart, mimicking their size.
The last I checked, women have paid some pretty solid money for new lips, so I am pretty happy with mine.
A few of the people who made some of these jokes, have apologized to me. I'm lucky in that regard. I guess sometimes, it takes a little growing up and being outside of the school environment, to really put things into perspective, or maybe it was just those particular individuals, that wanted to make things right. Once school is done, everyone is on even playing ground. There really is no status anymore, well at least that's how it seemed to me.
I'm not innocent in all of this. School was really hard, and I certainly was far from perfect. I had to ignore the comments, and defend myself. But it seemed I never had the right clothes, never could get the "trend" before anybody else, and whatever I did, it just wasn't enough. There were days, where I just didn't understand, what I was doing wrong?
Things started to slowly change, when a bunch of my girlfriends started to skateboard - that really set a different precedent going forward.
All of a sudden, I didn't have to keep up with the growing trends of the "in" crowds. I could be me, be different, and be comfortable in my own skin, surrounded by close friends, whom I still keep in contact with. We banded together, and didn't let the people get to us, and if they did get to us, we had each other.
I see how it is today, and it has become way more of out of control.
We need to think about how our words affect others. A word or sentence that comes out of your mouth, regardless if you mean it or not, can impact someone else in ways we don't know, or sometimes, tragically find out. I have come a long way since that time, and in that process, I've learned so much about myself.
We have some some really good organizations that help with bullying.
Love is louder (www.loveislouder.com), was created by actress Brittany Snow, The Jed Foundation, and MTV to build and extend support to teens in crisis.
I really love their message. If we could all just take a step back, and look at it from outside the bubble. Respect is where it's at. Love is powerful.
To quote my lovely friend Andrea R.
"The only power people can have over you, is the power that you give them".
xoxo NDR
<3
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